My man and I had a good laugh last night, as we joked about making t-shirts from one of our shared beliefs: hard is normal. (Imagine a black shirt with white writing.)
We had no idea how hard having a baby would be.
We expected it to be hard, but not as hard as it ended up feeling.
The entire first year we were exhausted.
Sleep deprivation coupled by a tiny human that needs you ALL the time is demanding and unrelenting- to say it tamely.
We wanted it to be easier.
But it was not, it was hard.
And the only thing that really made it easier, is when we accepted how hard it actually was for us.
Having a baby is hard.
But so is life.
We humans, like to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
…that someone else’s life is easier than ours.
… that easy is around the corner.
I know people who pine for my experience of having a baby.
They pine for my hard. But their hard, of not having a baby, is simply a different hard. Not better, not easier, but different.
There is no escape of hard.
The truth is that life is hard.
Hard is normal.
One of the things that I love most about my man is his mindset about hard being normal, he knows that it is part of life.
When we look at our life decisions we remind ourselves that our new choices and the upcoming changes will not be easier… they will simply be different hard because hard is normal.
Just like our growing tiny-human; being parents to her will not get easier, our experience will simply be different hard.
Accepting hard, as normal, is relieving.
I recommend trying this perspective on.