Emotions Matter: Revisiting Foundational Topics
Emotions are kind of a sensitive and even mysterious topic.
Some think only soft and sensitive people have emotions.
Some think only the weak have emotions.
Some feel controlled and overcome by their emotions.
Some people feel totally out of touch, or even numb to their emotions.
Some think that emotions do not matter.
Emotions are how we all experience life; they either motivate us or debilitate us.
They are our energy source.
Most of us do not know how to manage our feelings or how to be in a healthy relationship with our emotions.
Where do we learn?
Who teaches us?
Who even knows how?
I had to look at many places, and study many modalities for years until I finally learned how to manage my emotions and eventually how to generate emotions. Read my Story if you want to hear more about my past.
What are Emotions?
Emotions are physical vibrations caused by thoughts.
Physical vibrations (emotions) are different than physical sensations such as heat from a fire, cold from the snow, or pain from an injury.
Why DO Emotions Matter?
Emotions are how we experience the world. Emotions are our inner reality. Our feelings about our life are what matters most to each of us personally. Our human brain has evolved to seek pleasure (like feeling emotionally ‘good’ and to avoid pain (like feeling ‘bad’).
Whether you know it or not, you do things, acquire things, and want things, because you think you will feel a certain way.
We are all seeking states of emotion.
Emotions drive every action, in-action, habit, and behavior.
This is why the skill set of creating, generating, and choosing emotions matters to everyone, even people who do not want to be ‘soft’ or sensitive.
Behind every achievement, success, and meeting a goal is an emotion. Emotions drive us toward what we want in life.
Emotions can also be debilitative, useless, and even indulgent.
Imbalanced, indulgent, and addictive emotions perpetuate habits that cause self-harm and create results in our lives that we may not want or which do not serve us. Like: smoking, over-eating, over-shopping, slothfulness, and such.
Everything you do or do not do in your life, (every choice, every day, every year) is driven by emotions.
Emotions matter immensely, whether you believe them or not, whether you feel them or not, and whether you invest in them or not.
Buffering: Turning Away
If you are like the average person, then you do not allow your emotions; you act in a way to avoid any uncomfortable emotions.
This is what most of us are taught to do with our feelings.
Avoiding, controlling, resisting, or suppressing emotions may seem like you are feeling your feelings but you are actually feeling the tension and disconnect of your emotions.
Buffering is any action that we do in order to feel a short-term ‘feel good’ instead of our emotions. All short-term feel goods come at a long-term cost when done in a state of buffering.
Overdoing anything is buffering. Actions like over-eating, over-drinking, over-Facebooking, or over-working all can result in imbalances, like being overweight; they also result in a disconnect from yourself.
Like when we feel upset or bored.
Most of us buffer by eating food or scrolling to avoid the feeling.
BUT AT WHAT COST?
Inflammation, disconnection, anxiety, depression, weigh gain, disease….???
Shifting our relationship with our emotions away from buffering is a habit game changer.
It makes our desired health changes simple and doable.
And it makes life bigger, it makes our presence and our emotional resilience stronger.
We do not have to let our unmanaged emotions drive the car…
We can choose to put ourselves in the driver’s seat, let our emotions be in the car with us- like our inner toddler who is upset or bored, and take charge of our health and life!
(**This article was originally created and posted early 2020 and is being re-posted with some small updates beginning 2023)
Ps… Allowing emotions and mental management are part of the tool set I teach my clients who suffer from anxiety and depression. It works!