My Coaching Basics
The point of coaching:
To understand how your inner world works, to gain self awareness, to know yourself deeply and intimately.
To know what you want and why you want it.
To understand your unique purpose and to live into your own potential.
To discover unconscious belief systems, and then chose belief systems that serve you.
To know where your emotions come from and how to process them in a healthy manor.
To become a master at your own inner world in order to be able to generate the life that you want.
To work with your own inner world to accomplish any goal or achievement that you truly desire.
To Know Your Self, To Chose Your Life.
Here, are the basic concepts from which I coach.
This text is mainly written for my clients to reference concepts we discuss after coaching appointments .
The difference between a thought and a fact:
Facts: something that happened in the past, any person, the weather, and anything provable in a court of law, like something someone said or did.
Thoughts: anything that our mind produces unconsciously and/or that we intentionally think. Thoughts are any and all judgements, opinions, stories, beliefs, likes and dislikes. Thoughts are sentences in our head.
Ie. Jody did not return my phone call: Fact.
Jody does not like me: Thought.
Emotions Defined and Differentiated:
The word emotion is interchangeable with feeling.
Emotions: physical vibrations in our body that process through our bodies as sensations, temperatures, tingles, or energies. Emotions are different than purely physical sensation like pain from a physical injury or physical coldness as in temperature.
Emotions motivate us, they are behind every action or in-action.
Debilitative Emotions: worry, confusion, overwhelm, blame, and busy are debilitative emotions; these feelings have no usefulness in our lives. They are emotions that spin us out and waste our energy.
Actions, In-Actions and Behaviors:
All of the things that we do or do not do, on purpose or on auto pilot.
Your habits, your daily routines, and your reactions.
How you interact with the world: whether you withdraw or avoid or fight or yell or act passive aggressive or over-work or create.
How you show up in your life, or how you do not show up in your life.
Your behaviors, characteristics and personality; like acting shy, outgoing, open or closed.
What your life, inner and outer, actually manifests as: Your Reality.
The state of your relationships, the state of your bank account, the state of your health… all of it.
The reality that you have created by your actions (or inactions) and which you experience as your world.
ie: A goal reached like making a family. A goal reached of getting a certain job. Also defaulting in staying in a job you don’t like. Being overweight, being an over-drinker, being a smoker, being an athlete, and living where you live.
Coaching Basics Algorithm
Facts are Facts.
Your Thoughts about Facts create your Feelings.
Your Feelings create or block your Actions.
Your Actions lead you to your Results.
Your Results are your life.
It is all connected. You can do all of these things on purpose, intentionally, you can live the life that you want to live. You can choose how to feel, who you become, by choosing your thoughts.
Stages: In some kinda order, but not strictly.
Learning to decipher the difference between the facts in your life vs your thoughts about the facts in your life.
Learn how to watch your mind and gain the meta skill of watching your thoughts.
Deciding to think intentional thoughts to create desired emotions.
Know that your emotions come from your thoughts, and only your thoughts.
Taking full responsibility of your emotions means owning the thoughts that you think including the unintentional thoughts.
Practice feeling your emotions, fully allowing them, get curious and fascinated about your inner emotional life.
Understand the difference between actually processing and allowing an emotion versus resisting, avoiding or tolerating an emotion.
Coaching Basics Vocabulary:
This page will continually be updated.
Belief System is a well worn thought that you think many many times until you believe it to be truth.
Thought Error is a thought that you unintentionally think and that does not serve you.