One of my clients, when asked what she would need to think in order to feel empowered, began her answer with, “I would need to know…” It was towards the end of our session so we did not go much further. But her wording caught my attention because of what is going on in my life. The unknowns have been keeping me awake at night, too.
I want to feel empowered, certain, solid, and in-control.
For those of you who are familiar with my coaching, you know that empowered, certain, solid and in-control are all feelings; and all feelings come from our thoughts.
Even as a coach who coaches about thoughts creating feelings, I forget and get stuck too. It is hard to see our own brains and the thought errors that we believe as truths.
My session with my own coach was exactly about the unknowns that have been bothering me.
I don’t know if or when my man will be called to go work a three-month contract overseas. It could happen any day and I do not want it to.
My thoughts have been eating away at me.
I found myself telling my coach, “If only I knew a date, then I could mentally plan and prepare.”
Oh, that certainty that we all crave.
Unknowns and Uncertainty
How do we ever know anything?
It just seems like we think we do.
But 2020 is offering us a new growth experience.
So the question is:
If the world is uncertain, how can we create certainty?
Most of us try to control the external to do so.
As a coach, I teach people how to control the only thing we can control, our mind.
New Thoughts (for me)
We spent some time exploring the thought, “I’ll be okay.” This used to be a useful thought for me. But I did not believe it. Truth is, I am not sure what okay is anymore.
Towards the end of the session, we uncovered a new thought for me. “I know that I will do my best with whatever happens.”
It is believable and it gives me a ready rebuttal when my primal brain shows me all the potential scary unknowns ahead.
Our primal brains have helped us survive by showing us the scary things that might be.
But living in fear limits the problem-solving part of our brain.
What thoughts are your primal brains producing and are you managing them or are you buying in?
Borrow and use my thought if it is useful for you.
“I know that I will do my best with whatever happens.”
I feel certain of that!